The History Of Coffee
by LE McMurray
Summary: Daniel explains his history with coffee.


Author's Notes:- Thanks to Stonedtoad for betaing.

* * *

Ask anyone around here and they'll all tell you I'm addicted to coffee. I admit freely that I drink a lot of the stuff BUT there are reasons behind my so-called addiction.

x

Okay, when I was young I was just like almost any other child. Yes, my parents travelled a lot and I went with them but I loved it. I did meet other kids and I did play with them, I was a small child but they looked after me.

When I was five I was playing in the loosest possible sense basketball with a group of kids who were quite a bit older. They were the kids of a group my parents were meeting with about their newest discoveries. Near the end of the game I had the ball and I was about to pass it on to one of the others but the leader of my team caught me by the waist and picked me up so I could make the winning basket.

When I met up with my parents after the meeting I remember excitedly telling them both about how I won the game for my team. Dad picked me up and sat me on his knee and there I got my first taste of coffee.

I hated it.

I remember spitting it out over the sand and gulping down orange juice my mother had. Not exactly the best start.

x

After my parents died I retreated into a shell. The happy talkative child I once was died with them. I didn't cry after they died I just couldn't no matter how much I wanted to. Dad drank a lot of coffee, Mom didn't like to drink coffee but she loved the smell of it so wherever we lived I could always smell it. The first foster home I went to Mr and Mrs Graves didn't drink it but one night Mrs Graves had a group of her friends over while I was hiding in the closet under the stairs.

I better explain this one, I liked this space it was comfortable since I was small enough to fit in and there was two large cushions on the floor where I would just curl up and read sometimes falling asleep. Mr and Mrs Graves didn't bother that I did this they understood why I wanted to hide.

Anyway, that night Mrs Graves had her friends over and she made coffee for them. I was sitting wrapped up in a book far in advance of my age when I smelt it. Before you think how stupid this was I will point out I was eight years old and my parents had just died.

Anyway, I smelled the coffee and I thought my parents had somehow come back for me. Crazy joy welled up inside me and I burst out of the closet I was in. A greeting died on my lips as I saw that they weren't there, Mrs Graves was pouring one of the other women there a cup of the coffee and they all stared at me shocked as I suddenly started to cry.

Tears streamed down my cheeks as I stumbled back to the closet locking myself inside. After three days I finally came out and was instantly removed from the house, someone reported that the Graves were locking me in the closet. I told them I wanted to stay but they told me it wasn't safe for me. I never let myself get comfortable anywhere ever again.

x

When I started studying I was living off grants and what little money my parents had left me. I couldn't really afford to eat properly and keep my apartment but I discovered that an economy jar of coffee lasted me for a good while. It wasn't that I wanted to drink a lot of it it's just that it was all I could afford. I also had to drink it black cause milk and sugar not only cost money but milk went off far too quickly.

In addition to drinking the coffee I also ran every day to quell the hunger pangs. Jack said when I joined the SGC I was scrawny and I was but I was fitter than I looked. While I was doing my first doctorate I had to get a job so I was studying all day and working late into the night. Once again I lived on the bitter brew and I actually managed to put myself in hospital because I wasn't eating properly. I also lost the job because of that. It was then I started occasionally putting sugar into it. Thankfully I went on my first dig not long after that so I was fed on a regular basis. I avoided coffee completely for those four months.

x

When I got the job offer with Dr Jordan I took it instantly. He was a leader in the field and seemed quite impressed by me. Especially considering how young I was.

Yes, I know I'm smart but you have to realise my self confidence has never exactly been that high. Anyway this was when I first met Steven Rayner. He was older than I was but we actually became friends quite quickly, Steven was smart and we argued back and forth about a lot of things in friendly competition.

For the first time I felt relaxed in an environment but once again my living expenses became a bit burdening and I returned to living on coffee.

When we went on the digs I needed money for that too so there I was stuck in the same cycle of studying, running, working and living on the worst diet imaginable. This was probably one of the reasons that I fell under the spell of Sarah Gardener.

x

I'm making this sound worse than it really was, then again maybe not.

The thing is Sarah was beautiful, smart and seemed to genuinely like me. Actually she did like me, she liked that I was smart and she would be able to pick my brain.

She was also what really put a wedge in my friendship with Steven. You see he tried to warn me away from her but me, being me thought he was just jealous that Sarah liked me and not him. There are times I'd really love to go back in time and smack myself around the head for being so dumb but she entranced me.

My golden haired angel, more like the angel of death.

However my theories were what made her decide to get rid of me though I don't think she really expected me to walk in on her and her latest conquest. Then again possibly she did considering she was staying at my apartment while her own was being fixed.

Despite how hurt I felt I didn't do what anyone else would do by going out and getting drunk I still had a lot of money troubles so I drank coffee.

I think I drank a truckload of the stuff just to make sure I didn't fall asleep for about a week because all I could see was my own stupidity in my dreams at least awake I could read and lose myself in history.

x

Not long after that I decided to give the lecture in LA.

Another thing I really shouldn't have done. But despite Steven trying to talk me out of it I went ahead and did it. Before I left for LA at the airport was the last time I talked to him before Jordan's funeral and his words still stick in my mind.

"You're ruining yourself Daniel," he shook his head sadly, "But that's not why I'm so disappointed in you. Daniel, you're a bright guy, surely you know you're career's a goner if you do this?"

"I'm right Steven," I replied, "I know I'm right."

He shook his head sadly and left me standing alone. I looked out over the crowds in the airport and for the first time since my marathon coffee session after the Sarah fiasco I deliberately bought myself coffee.

I was on my own and this was my only companion.

x

As I was deciphering the Stargate I think I used up half their supply. I didn't want to sleep I wanted to unlock the secret of the cartouche. There was something about it that called to me and it just kept taunting me every time I closed my eyes.

You know it's typical I was going for more coffee when I saw it. The answer I'd been searching for, the key to unlocking the greatest mystery ever and how typical for my life coffee was a part of it.

x

When I was first on Abydos the reason I managed to stay awake so long that first night well I had a few things to thank. One being adrenaline from the knowledge I was right and finding a human civilisation on this distant planet and secondly was because of her.

Sha're, my everything.

I remember when I first saw her, when she offered me water and she looked up at me, for a primitive planet it was one hell of a jolt of electricity that hit me. Later after our rather unusual marriage sitting in the cave talking I think I could have flown if she asked me to. I only really got to get some sleep after I was killed.

The next night hiding from Ra I was still running on adrenaline when I discovered I was married. Who needs caffeine when you're falling in love?

That night falling asleep holding her I slept completely peacefully. Not since my fiasco with Sarah had I felt relaxed and happy.

That wonderful year on Abydos I didn't need to stay awake, well not too much anyway. Sha're made my life incredible. She was everything to me and for that one year I was happy. Happier than I have ever been in my life then it was torn away from me.

x

This is where I got my reputation for being a coffee addict.

After Sha're was made into a Gould I returned to the planet I had been born on I started to drink coffee so I didn't fall asleep and have to dream about what had happened to my wife. I think I managed to stay awake for about three days by what Jack called the cofeethon before I literally collapsed on Jack's sofa unconscious and slept for almost a day. I tried as much as I could not to dream and that was what made sure I didn't. So every time someone sees me I usually had a mug of coffee in my hand. Even so long after she's been gone I still need it to keep awake, because after all the things I've seen and done I don't want to dream about it.

x

That is why I seem addicted to coffee.

I'm not.

I just drink it to keep awake so I can keep working so I never have to dream so my past doesn't overwhelm me.

That's the reason.


End file.
